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Recognising domestic abuse

FEMALES OF EMPOWERMENT

Recognising the signs

Females of Empowerment recognises that every situation is unique, but there are some common factors that link the experiences of an abusive relationship. Acknowledging these factors is an important step in preventing and stopping the abuse.

It’s believed domestic violence takes place because of psychological and socialogical trigger points.  Some of the psychological trigger points are; stress and low self-esteem. Some of the sociological trigger points are; unemployment, alcohol and drugs. IN MY OPINION; these are all excuses! Abusive men like to control women and when their tactics dont work they resort to violence.

Intimidation is a common tactic used to control women psychologically. Some examples are shouting, calling you degrading names and giving you threatening looks to making you feel scared. He may tell you; your stupid or ugly and call you an insulting pet name. He may compare you to other women. This can cause many women to loose their self-love and self-worth.

He will often make jokes of you, in-front of other people, enjoying making you feel small, while its making him feel better than you. He may joke about your cooking, cleaning, the way you drive and even how you look after your children. When you get upset he has the nerve to think your over-reacting. 

You might have experienced him making you feel as though your going mad! You might have seen a text on his phone but he will deny the text has ever been there. He tells you something, then acts like he didn’t say it. I’m here to tell you, your not going mad, this is another common tactic.

An abusive partner will often invade your personal space. He will come up close in your face, glaring at you, giving you that look that he wants to hit you. He may even roll his fists and start punching the walls, doors, and smashing the furniture. Some men think this is fine because they haven’t psychically hit you , this is normal behavior to them, to get their own way, or the manly thing to do.

You may have experienced him persuading you to stop in bed all day knowing you have work or college. He will make you feel he is doing it because he can’t bare to be without you. Any decent man would respect your career or education but the abuser will not want you to do better than him. He will get you sacked from your job or make you leave your education. He may even turn up to your work place causing a scene in front of colleagues.

He may hate or insult your friends and aim to keep you isolated from them untill you have no friends left only him to rely on. Some men will even seduce your friends just to break down your relationships and emotionally hurt you.

He will persude you or force you to have sex when you don’t want to. He will make you feel bad or inadequate for saying no. He will threaten to cheat and tell you he will find someone else who won’t say no. Alot of men use SEX TO CONTROL WOMEN. This results in women feeling jealous of another woman pleasing their partner or scared of him going else where, so now you get manipulated into having sex just to please him.

Have you experienced not been able to believe a word that comes out of his mouth? Many women I’ve spoken to have experienced their partner telling various lies about where or whom they have been with. He may even lie about how he treats you, making it sound less than it is. We always try and make sense of his lies or his excuses we often forgive and take them back, time and time again destroying ourselves becoming depressed. We try harder to please but nothing changes.

I'm here to help you understand none of this is your fault. I'm here to help you move forward...
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Come along to one of our workshops where we can discuss this further in a safe space, where we can heal together.

Abusive men like to control women and when their tactics don’t work they resort to violence. 

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